What do you do?

I appropriately titled this blog “What do you do?” for good reason. One reason. Because I don’t know what to do about a struggle I am going through with my relationship with my girlfriend. I’m positive this is a struggle that not just I am faced with. But many guys who are fortunate to be able to take care of their kids and responsibilities. It truly is a blessing and a curse which is how I see it and how I feel day to day. Yes, I am talking about money, child support, supporting your kids. Now some are probably thinking, ‘damn right you should pay’ or ‘how can you complain about helping out financially with your kids?’. Well to them I say read my previous blog “How Much is Too Much”.

I will again state for the record that I have no problem at all helping out or giving my kids mothers money to help gain what they need. On perspective I’m all in and happy to do so! But what do you do when your child’s mother has been from job to job, lives at home, and takes any assistance she can get; then rolls up to your house just months after your support goes up with a almost brand new car? How should you feel then? Especially after you have sold your newer car to get rid of your car payment that you could no longer afford. Well I am the father and I should have to make the sacrifices right? I actually don’t have too much of a problem with that for the most part. I mean I am the one who has had the same job for over seven years now with insurance on the kids neither mother has to worry about. And a very moderate roof over our child’s heads when they’re with dad going on six years. I truly don’t judge them or look down on them. We all make life decisions that affect our futures. And I can’t help but feel because they haven’t made good enough decisions I have two money hungry moms sucking on my paycheck. i.e.. If I take a vacation from work rest assure I will be getting two text messages like clock work that week asking if they took out support.

Enough with that. The real question for this blog is how do you afford a girlfriend? I mean, I have very good friends that help me out so I may keep what I have and so the lights stay on. I have a great support system in which I am very very thankful for. I am also very thankful for my girlfriend who is a part of that support system. But that’s where it gets tricky.

We were both raised “old school” where the father was the provider and the mother chose to work if she wished. In this scenario its just not so cut and dry along with many other things these days. I work, she works. I pay support, she gets some support. I have my own house, she lives with parents. There’s nothing wrong with that but since we don’t live together it’s tough to have joint finances. And when we try to have joint finances I suck up a lot of pride and so does she when her man can’t take her out or have extra money to pay for something once in a while with out neglecting an owed bill. Many times it becomes an issue with us. I can see where it makes her unhappy I can’t take care of her and our kids when we have our separate kids together. Frankly most of me doesn’t blame her for feeling that way. So I don’t know if we should keep trying to have somewhat joint moneys or just keep everything separate and shrug my shoulders when it comes to seeing a movie or going out to eat? Or if there is another solution out there I haven’t though of.

So feel free to comment, give advice, or yell at me for being dumb.

School Begins!

With the summer months coming to a close and everyone getting in their last vacations. Autumn is also on its way which means football, leaves falling, Halloween, and school! All summer most parents have had their kids at home 24/7 for the most part. I’ve seen many Facebook posts saying the quiet around the house is pleasure. All though its nice having your kids in your presence during the summer parents do need a break. That’s where school is a good thing. I myself this year will be having my son (who is four years old) every morning and I will be taking him to preschool. With me being a second shifter this works out well since his mom got a job near my house during the day. It keeps me out of trouble at night after work and I’m looking forward to being a part of my sons day to day school activities. I have even filled out a form so I can be a volunteer.

One thought I have about this whole deal is that my daughter (who’s almost nine) from another mother than my son, is now in 3rd grade in a different school system. Now, I used to have her during the week before I worked. I also brought her to school when she attended a private school near my house part time. Then came the child support for my son and that ended. She’s still in a good school, just further away and full time where the bus picks her up and drops her off at her grandparents house where her and her mom stay mostly. To get to the point, my concern is, “I wonder how she feels that I have her brother during the week and not her.” My daughter is a very bright girl who gets “it” a lot more than she leads on. I’d like to think she takes after me in that aspect of just knowing and being curious how things work. ie, street smarts. It’s also cool because we have this not verbal communication with each other with eye contact. We can communicate to a point with just facial expressions and get points across. But I wonder is she feels left out. Or if she gets jealous of the time I get to spend with my son now as I did her.

On another note. It’s mind boggling to me that my son is starting school in the first place. I mean I remember a little bit when I was that age starting school. NOW, I’m the dad and have a little “me” doing the same thing! I think its awesome and weird all at the same time. Way more awesome though. My teachers name fails right now but I could go back and go right to that room that was down the hallway at the very end to the right. No lockers, just hooks at the time to hang your stuff on. I wonder now if my son will remember himself when he gets to my age Lord willing. And if he’ll have memories of me bringing him and bring a part of it.

To end I’ll just say this. To moms and dads. Don’t take these times for granted. Through the hustle, early mornings, and traffic; soak up the experience. Experience is life’s best teacher. Try to see things through their eyes.

Let me introduce myself…

Hello. My name is Rich. I’m creating this blog for a therapeutic affect and to help others gain knowledge about the topics in which I choose to write about. Mainly my blog will be about single parents. Single moms, single dads, kids growing up in this very confusing world of ours and just about anything that side tracks off those main ingredients.

I myself have two children from two different mothers. I’ve been through the court systems in two different counties and have had the joys of victory but also the sorrows of defeat via money, power and respect. I own my own home, have a good job, got my truck and I do what I can for my kids whenever I can. I raise them to be humble, smart, respectful, caring, emotional and overall hopefully great adults some day. I’ve seen and heard A LOT. I’ve been through a lot of events good and bad in my life and would like to think I have much to offer experience wise. I also hope to gain more information via opinions and suggestions.

I am in the “generation next” category I’m sure with many others these days that have gone and will go through some of the struggles I myself can identify with. As the Urban Dictionary would put it Generation Next is anyone born between the early 80’s to Mid 90’s. (1980-1995) We are called Generation Next because we are the youth that goes into the Next Millennium.

So with that, I have many topic ideas to write about. If you decide to follow me please do so and I’m open to any topics to research and write about whether my own experiences or opinions. Thank you for reading.